Wooing Aunt Wu
by VanG Ziggy ZA
Summary: Stuck for a week in a city that is celebrating and enforcing a no violence policy, Aang and Katara decide to help General Iroh meet and romance Aunt Wu, while Sokka and Zuko agree to a little contest to see who can get a girl to kiss him first.
1. Chapter 1

WOOING AUNT WU

**_Ziggy's Corner: Kool, okay this is the fifth Avatar Story that I have written. Like A MidWinter's Romance, and Kiss and Tell, this story is a romance, pairing Uncle Iroh, with Aunt Wu, the fortune teller from episode 14: The Fortune Teller. It also has a humorous sub-plot about who can get a girl to kiss him first, Sokka or Prince Zuko. Okay, enjoy! And thanks to those who review it in advance!_**

"I don't like this," Sokka said for the umpteenth time. They were walking through the streets, looking at the colorful vendors selling their wares. "Zuko is up to something, I just know it. And even if he isn't, what happens if the Fire Nation takes back their agreement to recognize this festival?" The town they were visiting had been busy an eighty year peace celebration that had taken them out of the war. Absolutely no violence was permitted during this week of celebration, or the offenders found themselves in a cell for the whole time.

"Then we can get on Appa and fly away," Aang said with a bright smile, enjoying the first real peace he had gotten since being unfrozen by Sokka and his sister Katara.

"Can't you just relax for once?" Katara asked, glaring at her brother. "Look at all these happy smiling people, do you think they care that there's no fighting?"

"That's just my point," her brother snapped. "No one in their right mind goes around smiling all day, it's just not normal!"

"That's the first thing you've said that I agree with, water tribe trash," a scowling reply came from around the corner. The trio jumped and glared at the prince of all of the Fire Nation, resting his back against a building as he waited for his second in command, who was also his uncle to finish his purchases. Tension mounted for the next couple of seconds, before everyone realized that there was nothing Zuko could really do to them, without being arrested.

Katara insisted that they move on, but Sokka had other ideas in mind. There was no way he was going to let this stuck up selfish, brat of a Fire Bender make fun of him, and he couldn't resist egging the other teenage boy on.

"Oh come on," he mocked, "right now he's really harmless." Sokka sized him up and smirked. He poked the prince and chuckled. "See, he can't hurt me without getting into trouble." He poked him twice more, calling he what he really thought of him, and then went to poke him a fourth time, when Zuko reached out with lightning fast reflexes and snatched the other boy's finger, bending it back a little.

"There's nothing that says that I can't defend myself, is there?" he asked with his own unique grin.

"Let my brother go right now," Katara snarled, a little too loudly for any of their tastes.

Zuko shrugged and released the other boy. It burnt him up that the avatar was right there, and there was nothing he could do about it, but he was slowly gaining a taste for patience . . . with emphasis on slowly. "Uncle, hurry up with the market, we're leaving." The scarred boy turned away from the group, and frowned. "Uncle?"

Iroh stood in the middle of the street, holding three bags of food and other items, and stared mesmerized at something in a small little shop, his eyes wide and his lips spread in an adoring grin, like a man gawking at a beauty goddess. "She's beautiful," he cooed.

Zuko blinked, ignoring the confused stares of his adversaries heading for his uncle as well. "Uncle Iroh," he began, walking up to the old man, "that's nice and all but . . .," his glare turned in the direction of the woman his uncle had his eyes on, and a felt a tinge of fear for his soul. Aang and his friends rushed up to see what was going on, and the twelve year old, and water warrior male, felt the same rush. All three younger males groaned in horror.

"Hey, isn't that Aunt Wu?" Katara asked, "I wonder what she's doing here?" The fortune teller was sitting on a chair, her back arched back, as avocado dip dried to her face, and two lime slices covered her eyes. Her hair was tied up in curlers, and she wore a bright yellow bathrobe.

"Aunt Wu," the old man said mechanically, as if in a trance. "You know that creature of perfection?"

"Uncle, I really think its time we get your eyes checked," Zuko said.

"Or at least learn the definition of beautiful," Sokka said, trying not to gag.

"You two stop it," Katara snapped, her fists resting on her hips. "I think it's really cute that he has a crush on her."

"Yeah, an old fashioned romance," Aang chuckled as soon as he got over his shock at seeing the fortune teller like this. "Would you like us to introduce you?"

At the words of the avatar the old man shook back to reality and blushed so red a cherry would have been jealous. "What! Oh, no that's all right, besides I have to get this food back to the men," he said, his grin growing wider. "Besides, I doubt a delicate flower like that would be interested in a rough and used soldier like me." He cast another glance, and sighed as he saw that the woman had disappeared further into the building for the next treatment. Iroh sadly walked away.

"Ew, I don't even want to think of those two on a date," Sokka said with a shudder. Zuko spun on his heels and caught the other boy by his throat.

"Don't you talk about him like that, you filth, that's my uncle!"

"So what," Sokka snarled, "you wouldn't mind seeing them on a date?"

"Don't be ridiculous," the prince hissed. "That's stupid."

"Why?" Katara snarled, raising an eyebrow.

Both boys looked at her and answer in unison. "Because it is."

"Why; because they're old?"

"You don't know anything," Zuko snarled. He released Sokka and glared into the girl's eyes.

"Then Aang and I are going to prove the two of you wrong," she snapped, grabbing the avatar by his shirt.

"Right," the boy began, and then jumped. "Wait, we are?"

"Yes, we are!" she howled at him. She looked at the two teenage boys and scowled. "If those adolescent cavemen can't deal with it, then that's too bad. The town will have either of them arrested for violating the peace rule." She smiled and narrowed her eyes, enjoying the moment. "Besides, if either of them had ever kissed a girl they would have agreed to help us."

"I've already told you, I kissed a girl," Sokka snapped, Zuko looked at him and laughed.

"Just one girl? That figure's for a country bumpkin like you." His back straightened and he placed a hand on his chest. "I on the other hand have kissed many."

"All right then," she teased. "Let's see you prove it. Both of you I mean. While Aang and I help your uncle, let's see if either of you can get at least one kiss from a girl."

"A wager? What's in it for me?" Zuko asked, slightly amused.

"If you can get a girl to kiss you before Sokka does, I'll turn myself in to the Fire Nation," Aang said. He ignored Katara and Sokka's socked gasps and went on. He knew it would be the only thing the Fire Prince would be interested in anyway. "But if Sokka gets a girl to kiss him before you, then we get a two hour handicap when we all leave this town."

"One hour," the prince snapped.

"An hour in a half," the boy said, standing in the middle of the street like a cowboy waiting for a showdown.

"Fine, it wont take me long to get a girl to kiss me anyway," the prince said with a shrug.

"One condition," Katara said. "Neither of you get a kiss from me." The two boys groaned in disgust and she smiled. "Now all we need is a referee, someone who can keep an eye on the two of you, to acknowledge who was telling the truth about what you say."

"Sounds like fun," a sultry feminine voice said from behind. They turned around in time to see a young woman in her late teens, early twenties stand before them. Zuko had done business with her once before and wasn't sure if she could be trusted, but better her than no body.

"Fine, June will keep an eye on us."

"Hey, that's not fair, she helped you hunt us down once, and how do we know that you won't pay her to lie?" Sokka snapped. He saw Aang chuckle, dash off somewhere, and returned with a young girl about his age with long black pig tails.

"It's really a small world!" he said. "Meng was here too, and she agreed for my sake that she would be a second volunteer."

Katara smiled and nodded with approval, though she couldn't understand why the girl looked at her with such distance. Shrugging she looked at the boys. "Okay, now if you excuse us, Aang and I have a cute, old couple to fix up." She turned to leave with the boy, and giggled, "And kissing Meng and June is also out of the question too."

**_So how was it? Is this my third romantic hit, or have I got a dud on my hands? If I can get at least five positive reviews, I'll update. If I do update it won't be until November/December. I don't have direct internet access, and have to rely on my sister's internet access for the net. So Review, review, review!_**


	2. First Dates

_**Ziggy's Corner: Wow, 17 reviews! Not as many as my other romances, but what the heck, I think I can call Wooing Aunt Wu a success. And HOT DAMN! Was that a season finale or what! Damn bring on Season 2! I can hardly wait to see Aang and Zula get it on! Er, okay that may have come out wrong, but you all know what I mean, LOL. My gut says she's going to end up half way through horribly burned, had forced to wear a mask, probably thanks to her brother. How she'll die, if she does, at the end of the second season, who knows? My gut, although not as strongly, says we're going to see Admiral Zhao again some time. Okay, let's get it on! Oh, by the way, I also believe it will be either Iroh or Zuko who ultimately teaches Aang Fire Bending during season 3. It'll be interesting to see if I'm right. Okay, now on with the story.**_

Two days had passed, and Katara and Aang had just managed to get Iroh to agree with their attempt to hook him up on a date with Wu. Meanwhile, neither Sokka nor Zuko had gotten a kiss yet, much to the disappointment of both teenage boys. Sokka had gotten an invitation to a young woman's house, but it had turned out her father wasn't ready for her to date quite yet, and Sokka ended up with very bruised limbs as he came home. Zuko had tried to court a pretty young girl in the market place, but when her boyfriend, who was much more muscular and larger than Zuko found out, he made a hasty retreat. Not that he couldn't have taken the other male, but then he would have ended in jail, insulted the woman, and if Sokka did not get a kiss himself, the avatar and his friends could easily ignore the agreement, and escape.

"I thank you for your interest in helping this old soldier, but I really do not think a delicate rose, such as Wu would be interested in me," Iroh said, stroking his head as he walked through the market place with Katara and Aang. They seemed like good kids, and unlike his fanatical brother, and the obsession of the Fire Nation to rule the world, Iroh rather considered the boy as lethal a threat as a teddy bear. All he wanted was peace in his old age.

"Don't be so sure," Katara said with a wide smile, "I know Aunt Wu, and I actually talked to her just yesterday into coming to this small café to meet you."

"Nothing says you have to do or say anything romantic," Aang said, with a bright smile of his own. "Just be yourself!"

Iroh looked down as he walked and put his hands into his sleeves. _Be myself? That might not be a good idea. I barely managed to win Narmada, bless her soul wherever it is, years ago._ But there was another part of him, much younger who chuckled at the old man. _But you did win her, and by being yourself too!_

Iroh smiled and straightened his back, ignoring stares from people walking along from the streets. As far as they knew, he was just a normal "grandfather" taking a peaceful walk with his "grandchildren".

They reached the café, and set down, basking in the warm sun as they sat, drinking their ice water. It was half way to noon when an elderly woman dressed in yellow silk and wearing a light lemon perfume graced her way to the table and sat down next to them. She looked at Katara, and smiled pleasantly – although she dreaded what would happen if the girl opened her mouth and asked about the future.

"Aunt Wu," Aang said. "This is Iroh, a general in the Fire Nation."

"A former general, I was …, I decided to leave the military as an active participant," he said, very reluctantly on the last part. She smiled at him, and he averted her eyes, sipping on his water. "I hear that you can tell the future," he said with a grin of his own, hoping to change the subject.

"Oh yes, it's a talent that was handed down in my family for generations, possibly as old as the avatars themselves. Every female member of my family has it. My brother has the gift too, but I'm afraid it was too much for him to bear, and he decided to become a recluse, studying our world's ecosystem."

Iroh leaned back, "Really. How fascinating and tragic I suppose. It must be a terrible burden to know what lies ahead and not be able to do anything about it."

Wu giggled. "So then I take it you would not be interested in having your fortune told?"

Iroh laughed. "Madame, at my age there is only one great mystery in life left, and I would very much rather to keep that a secret, thank you."

It was going very smoothly. They ate a fresh plate of fish and fruits, talked about the past, discovered that they were born only days apart, liked the same songs, the same stories, the same past times. It was as if the gods of love had descended on that table with their arrows tipped with romance. Nothing could go wrong.

And then it did. As the waiter brought out a fresh patch of flowers Iroh had mischievously ordered after she had slipped through the bathroom, to surprise her, the fortune teller began sneezing and lurched back, spilling the glass of water on her dress.

"Oh my goodness," Wu wept sorrowfully.

"Wait, I'm sorry let me get that for you," the old man said, reaching for his napkin. Unfortunately his hand reached into his plate of food, and a half eaten fish slipped from his hands and smacked the poor woman across her chest. "Oh no, wait, I can fix that," he said, bowing desperately to mend the situation. Aang and Katara had done their best to help, but the elderly woman waved them away.

"No, thank you," she said in a pleasant yet harsh tone. "I feel a little tired anyway. I think I'll head for bed now." She bowed and rushed off, leaving the young boy and girl, and the elderly man, head bowed down low, alone.

"I'm so sorry about that," Katara said. "But things were going so smoothly, so the next time …"

"No," he smiled sadly. "I doubt there will be next time with her," he turned to them and smiled wider though his eyes betrayed his true sorrow. "But thank you for showing this old man a very good time." He opened his mouth to say something else, but decided against it, and rushed off.

"Hi there, Sokka of the Southern Water tribe, best warrior in my whole village," the teenage boy said as he walked up to a pretty young girl with long brown hair.

"Oh yeah, that line will work," Meng sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"Well he only tried it eighty times today," Jun snickered. "I guess he's feeling lucky."

"You mean desperate, right?" the girl giggled. They smirked and looked from the corner where they were standing as the girl listened to the teenage water warrior, and then dropped her jaw. A right hook sent him to the ground as she stomped off, and the two judges could hardly contain themselves.

"Oh come on! What was wrong with that?" Sokka whined. He picked himself up and looked around. _This whole city is full of prudes! Not a single woman has taken up my offer of a date! Well except for Tasha, but I would very much like to forget that._

He sighed, brushed himself off, and began looking for another woman to ask for a date, a kiss, heck he was even willing for a handshake at this time. The teenage water warrior knew he was being trailed by the two judges, and that meant that the Fire Prince couldn't possibly be that far off. Perhaps the picking was easier on his side of the "ocean" than where Sokka was now.

He found his rival sitting at a café eating and joking with a pretty young woman with bright yellow hair. He rested his hands on his chin and looked deep into her eyes, listening to her talk about her interests and hobbies. A chill ran up Sokka's spine, he realized that Zuko was nearing in for the kill, when the girl turned her gaze over at him and smiled just as brightly.

"Hello there!" she called out, waving him over to them as if she had always known him.

Both boys' jaws went flack as she nodded her head when Sokka asked if she had meant him. He approached and felt himself flush as she giggled as she stood up, her chest rising and falling as she walked over to him and took him by his hand.

"Well hello there," she said with a strange accent. "I was really hoping to see another cute boy here in this city," she lead him to the table and waved the Fire Prince down with her hand with such force, that Zuko seemed stunned enough to obey.

"Having such rotten luck you've had to try to steal one of my dates?" Zuko growled, leaning against his chair.

"Hey, I was just trying to see what you were up to," Sokka snapped. "Our judges were only watching me, so I had to make sure that you wouldn't just try to say you got a kiss when you didn't."

"I don't lie, unlike peasants like you," Zuko howled.

"Boys, boys please," the girl said. "Look, the prince told me what was going on, and I think it's kind of cute. A few of the girls in my apartment complex agree with me on this, and would be happy to listen to your requests, both of them, if you would agree to just sign this letter and follow me."

"This is stupid," Zuko growled, itching his scarred ear. "I was about to get a kiss without signing a letter before you showed up."

"Actually I was just about to ask you to sign it before I saw him," the girl said, a little stunned.

The boys, so concerned at beating the other, quickly signed the letter, and went to the apartment complex, a small building made of hard mud and simple brick. They entered the building, and sat down in a small room filled with pretty girls.

"Oh good, more candidates to be eunuchs I was beginning to wonder if we'd run into them here," said a black haired girl.

"I promised we'd agree to give them a kiss, if we believed their cause was a noble one," the leader of the girl said.

"That's going to be me," Sokka quipped, before he suddenly realized what the girl had said.

"Excuse me," Zuko said, obviously just getting the meaning of that word too, "but did you say _eunuch_?"

The leader of the girls smiled brightly and shrugged. "Well yeah, we're followers of the spirit, Tuniza, we can't kiss a boy unless he is a guardian of the spirit, and to do that, he has to be a eunuch. Thanks so much for volunteering!"

Another girl appeared with a wicked looking instrument, a metallic looking thing that looked like a giant pair of scissors and with one hole in the middle, and blades that looked like they cut something off at the ends. "If I could just get you to pull down your pants for a moment?"

The thought of losing their testicles was too great a fear to withstand a possible victory over the other boy. The two warriors rushed from the apartment with liquid like speed and were gone in a flash, leaving behind irritated feminine cries of anger and disappointment.

_**Okay, updating day is fast approaching and I don't have time for a third chapter to write, like I hoped for. I truly pray that this chapter was as good as the first, and I want to tell you all that I will probably submit the last two or three chapters of this story between January-March of next year. I wish I could update it sooner, but my on-line schedule is not my own. **_

_**On with the review responses:**_

_**lensgirlfriend: Thank you to my first reviewer. That's one positive review.**_

_**Genjo: My second reviewer, and second positive review! Thank you so much, as you can see, I have updated.**_

_**VANILLAICE2: Yes you need not beg, there is more. Here is my third positive response, thank you!**_

**_Seriously Yours: My 4th positive review! Thank you. I really think there is all the Zutaka stories this series can hold, you are right. I haven't run into too much Kataang, but I'll take your word for it. I just thought it was time to let romance touch the hearts of some other characters for a change. _**

_**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Er, I'm not sure if this is a negative review or you just don't like Avatar. Anyway I hope you enjoy my Sly Cooper fan fic, Everything's Relative.**_

_**effie's head: Hey come on, some of the best romances are from the old timers! Lol. Anyway thanks for the review, and you can see that I have my fifth positive response, hence why I decided to continue with this story. Now thank effie's head nicely everybody, LOL.**_

_**Full-Frontal-Otaku: So sorry, but as I've said many times, my updating time is not my own. Sorry. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**_

_**katara15: Nice to see you again, and Zuko too. How did he feel about this chapter? Hehehe.**_

_**Hotspur: AH, there he or she, is. My major Avatar fan fic fan. So what did you think of this chapter? I really do not know who will get the first kiss. ER okay I do, but it has already happened. You just won't know it until the end of the story, neither will the boy.**_

_**Khazia: Here is some more!**_

_**1bzwriter: Thank you so very much. I am a very busy writer myself, which is why I am so distressed that I could only give you guys a one chapter update this time around. Thanks for the info on Jun, thanks for all of you who have told me this. **_

_**Dracori: Thank you. I also agree that it should be IrohxWu, not IrohxJun. Ew. Jun deserves a great guy, but not so old. Sorry for the delay, but this was the best I could do.**_

_**crouchingbunny: Here's an update, I hope you like it.**_

_**FireLadyMai7: Thank you, I hope you like this chapter too.**_

_**Neko: Thank you, so was this chapter as interesting?**_

_**Sulana Jay: I didn't mean to confuse Aang, but he HAS been in ice for one hundred years, so that could be the cause of that. **_

_**Goddess of love: Hey, I asked. No offense at all. But there is so many ZukoxKatara fics out there, I thought it needed something else. Keep reading, you might see something here you might like. **_

_**Monita: Ah HA! See Goddess of love, Monita loves my story, so it can't be too much a dud. In fact I only got three reviews that could be considered negative, the rest positive, so it seems like a hit. **_

**_This chapter will probably be submitted a little after Christmas Day, but I hope to have it in before the 6th of January, as that is one day after the Christmas season actually ends. December 25-January 5, the twelve days of Christmas, it was actually celebrated like that in medieval times, a tasty tidbit for you trivia fans. _**

Okay I just wanted you all to know that I had gotten a cold earlier this month, and now my monitor is really nasty, it looks like it is going to fall right off, and the computer repair guy simply made things worse. I'll try to update as soon as possible, maybe in May, but do not hold me to that, as my time is not my own in updates. I just promise to do the best that I can. Also I'm suffering from major writer's block on this story, again so very sorry.


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